This is the first part of a 2-part series Opinion for Nobigdeal Project, which expresses the problems of the “Body Positivity” movement and provides an alternative “Body Neutrality”.
Two days ago, a 30s video promoting the "Body Positivity" movement on TikTok broke me. There's obviously nothing wrong about a beautiful blonde in a pink crop top smiling and dancing in front of the camera. Yet, somehow the video made me feel pressured. Is it because of the caption “Life is too short not to love every little bit of yourself!” sounds a bit 'cringe' to a realist like me? Or maybe I'm 'allergic' to positivity?
Instagram's magical algorithm takes care of my mental health day by day by constantly providing footage of girls dancing around, urging me to appreciate my soft curves or love my cellulitis or whatever. “Love every inch of your body because you are absolutely beautiful” — (am I the only one find it a teeny bit fake?). What if I want neither to love nor hate my body?
Just because “Nobody is Perfect”, should all body imperfections be exposed and celebrated? Excessive optimism is just another unattainable goal to pursue. Jessi Kneeland, a body image coach, agrees with me, believing that forced self-love makes people feel worse by depleting their energy and making them tougher on themselves, which is the exact opposite of what we're going for. Moreover, I don't want to spoil myself with sentences like “Curvy is the new trend”. Because deep down I know, those are the ideal justification for a potential unhealthy lifestyle and will damage my health in the long run.
Apparently, social media is the cause of it all, so why not actively change it? Maybe being too perfect girls isn't my thing :) I started switching up my Instagram followers so that what my eyes (and mind) see is different people of all sizes embracing their gorgeous bodies. But it turns out those Instagram videos didn't help. They're just another reminder that "Why can't I love myself the way everyone else loves themselves?" or point out more deviations in the current way I take care of my body. Turns out, I wasn't just worried about my body size and shape, but also felt bad for not knowing how to love myself properly.
Instead of a constant stream of negative thoughts running through my mind 24/7, I want nothing. I don't have to replace all of that with forced body love — just want to get away from the negative, in peace.